查看完整版本: My introduction._.

My introduction._.

[b][color=royalblue]My name is Sunny.:012: [/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]My friends call me "died sun" or "sun":008: [/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]I am a f.3 student.:087: [/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]I am 15 years old.:082: [/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]I come from Hong Kong.:022: [/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]Hong Kong is a beautiful city and it's very special.:020: [/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]I good at playing computer and play a lot of ball games.:042: [/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]Because I think playing computer can let me more smart.:037: [/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]Playing basketball can let me more strong and healthy.:043: [/color][/b]
[b][color=#4169e1][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]I like english very much.:045: [/color][/b]
[b][color=#4169e1][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]But my english exam paper is not very well.....:040: [/color][/b]
[b][color=#4169e1][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]I like english but I am not very good at english.:059: [/color][/b]
[b][color=#4169e1][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]If any one want to contact me:088: [/color][/b]
[b][color=#4169e1][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]please add my msn     ->     [/color][/b][email=sunny_tang930115@hotmail.com][b][color=royalblue]sunny_tang930115@hotmail.com[/color][/b][/email]:056:

[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]If I want to do this board's webmaste...:066: [/color][/b]
[b][color=#4169e1][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]Do you support me?:065: [/color][/b]
[b][color=#4169e1][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]Or disagree of me..:102: [/color][/b]
[b][color=#4169e1][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue] [/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]I want to do my best........:097: [/color][/b]

[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]I hope you can support me.:095: [/color][/b]
[b][color=#4169e1][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]I want to work in this board.:092: [/color][/b]
[b][color=#4169e1][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue][/color][/b]
[b][color=royalblue]Thank you for you attention.:089: [/color][/b]
[b][color=#4169e1][/color][/b]
[b][color=#4169e1][/color][/b]
[b][color=#4169e1]Good bye.:079: [/color][/b]

My introduction._.
My name is Sunny.
My friends call me "died sun" or "sun".
I am a f.3 student.
I am 15 years old.
I come from Hong Kong. (You should say I live in Hong Kong, because you didn't go anywhere... This is a Hong Kong forum anyways.)
Hong Kong is a beautiful city and it's very special.
I good at playing computer and play a lot of ballgames. (I am* good at, and you don't have to put play again, just playing computer and a lot of ball games.)
Because I think playing computer can let me more smart. (Not let, let means allow. You should put make me smarter. Smart is only one syllable, so you can put -er. Only put more when it's two or more syllables, more educated, more intelligent.)
Playing basketball can let me more strong and healthy. (make, not let. Also, it's stronger and healthier. )
I like english very much. (capital English)
But my english exam paper is not very well..... (say have a low mark or something. Exam can't feel well.)
I like english but I am not very good at english. (Repeating, I like English but I am not very good at it.)
If any one want to contact me (anyone*)
please add my msn     ->     [email]sunny_tang930115@hotmail.com[/email]
If I want to do this board's webmaste... (webmaster, or admin, or moderator)
Do you support me? (Will* you support me? When you have a higher exam mark.)
Or disagree of me..
I want to do my best........ (I know.)
I hope you can support me. (Nah.)
I want to work in this board. (Just work on your English.)
Thank you for you attention.
Good bye.

no
i have a low marks in exam...
is means that i only got 80marks...
In my opions 80marks is not very high..
but i am the second high mark in form.3.....:095:

The word in your introduction is very common
Please using some special words

[quote]原帖由 [i]夜劍[/i] 於 2008-1-28 17:48 發表 [url=http://www.kyohk.net/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=4441769&ptid=586142][img]http://www.kyohk.net/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
no
i have a low marks in exam...
is means that i only got 80marks...
In my opions 80marks is not very high..
but i am the second high mark in form.3.....:095: [/quote]

Congraduation. I have a low marks...
Grammar dear.
Then you should say "I didn't get a good mark in exam, only 80%." To be more precise, because that way I would think you got  a 60%.

[quote]原帖由 [i]星云仔k[/i] 於 2008-1-28 22:57 發表 [url=http://www.kyohk.net/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=4444635&ptid=586142][img]http://www.kyohk.net/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
The word in your introduction is very common
Please using some special words [/quote]

What do you mean by... special words?
I never heard someone say that, haha...

I don't think you are saying it right. What I think is that the sentences he used are simple sentences. He should connect some sentences to form compound sentences. Or he should have used more adjectives and adverbs to enhance the quality of his introduction. Also, by adding more adjective and adverb clauses, he can give more detail to the kind of person he is.
I find his diction is okay. For someone who are currently in f.3 in Hong Kong, I don't expect them to use "big" words.
*i guess we use big words, you guys like to call them special words... we call them big words because they are usually really long words that nobody knows what they mean.

[quote][color=Red]Combined the reply[/color]
[color=Red]By Evil[/color][/quote]

[[i] 本帖最後由 魔魂使 於 2008-1-30 00:47 編輯 [/i]]

[quote]原帖由 [i]yukitsu[/i] 於 2008-1-28 23:39 發表 [url=http://bbs.kyohk.net/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=4444935&ptid=586142][img]http://bbs.kyohk.net/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]


What do you mean by... ?
I never heard someone say that, haha...

I don't think you are saying it right. What I think is that the sentences he used are simple sentences. He should  ... [/quote]
special words mean 'isn't common'

[quote]原帖由 [i]yukitsu[/i] 於 2008-1-28 23:33 發表 [url=http://bbs.kyohk.net/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=4444894&ptid=586142][img]http://bbs.kyohk.net/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]


[color=red]Congraduation.[/color] I have a low marks...
Grammar dear.
Then you should say "I didn't get a good mark in exam, only 80%." To be more precise, because that way I would think you got  a 60%. [/quote]
Congratulation! I found out your mistakes...
By the way, I really curious about how you found out this place? and why do you want to hang around here?
If i know it, it may help to grab more people.

[quote]原帖由 [i]夜劍[/i] 於 2008-1-27 15:41 發表 [url=http://bbs.kyohk.net/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=4434723&ptid=586142][img]http://bbs.kyohk.net/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
[color=#4169e1]I want to do this board's webmaste...[/color][/quote]
I think you should avoid making problems among other board in order to be the moderator...
if your want to improve your english, either to be a moderator or member is not  a big different. Since we both get the right to post thread and practise...

[[i] 本帖最後由 hks_sing 於 2008-1-29 18:27 編輯 [/i]]

I am sorry about that.
Can you give your msn to me,plz?:092:

[quote]原帖由 [i]hks_sing[/i] 於 2008-1-29 18:12 發表 [url=http://www.kyohk.net/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=4448200&ptid=586142][img]http://www.kyohk.net/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]

Congratulation! I found out your mistakes...
By the way, I really curious about how you found out this place? and why do you want to hang around here?
If i know it, it may help to grab more people ... [/quote]

XD!!!!!!
This is why proof reading is very important! ; )
Well, first of all. Internet is worldwide, so it really doesn't matter where I am to access it. As long as I can understand the language, I can go on it.
I think I might have been going to the adult session of this forum. Like just searching on google and randomly found this forum. Then I went on to other parts of the forum and I found here. Before it became hidden in 吹水广场...

Sorry I couldn't be of a help. It's totally random that I got here.

*** 作者被禁止或刪除 內容自動屏蔽 ***

[quote]原帖由 [i]Ｆｕｃ９ｕ[/i] 於 2008-2-3 19:41 發表 [url=http://bbs.kyohk.net/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=4489323&ptid=586142][img]http://bbs.kyohk.net/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]

why he need to use special english !?
Use a special letter stand for what!? [/quote]

I think he should use more complex sentance as soon as possible.
His introduction is very simple and there are some spelling mistake in it.
The passage will become boring unless Sunny use some connectives like as, however, so, etc.

¬_¬it is quite ok such a  F.3
Guess why!on my age as him.common schoolmates and i would just the same level on english !Or.......maybe it is only the appearance on my school:102:

[[i] 本帖最後由 naoki_ki 於 2008-2-9 21:06 編輯 [/i]]

hmm, not sure about using 'uncommon' words. the most important in communication is to tell someone else what you wanted to say. so therefore in non-english country, your (speaking)english should be as plain and precise, while you can use as many fancy words as you like in writing.

the only way to learn is to read, alot. and to think and write in english. and perhaps, someone else to keep whiping your behind :007: (i know how vicious my cousins can be!)

[quote]原帖由 [i]imnothere[/i] 於 2008-2-12 09:42 發表 [url=http://www.kyohk.net/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=4556220&ptid=586142][img]http://www.kyohk.net/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
hmm, not sure about using 'uncommon' words. the most important in communication is to tell someone else what you wanted to say. so therefore in non-english country, your (speaking)english should be as ... [/quote]

Haha... whipping your behind, XD (or spanking is the word I usually use)
What you are saying here is that he should use fancy words when it comes to writing, and be more straight forward when it comes to speaking, and I totally agree with you.
However, this introduction is a written introduction and he should have used more fancy words.
Personally I don't think he needs to do that. Even though it shows that his introduction is a higher quality, but that's not him. He's a guy with simple words. I thought that he should have given more detail, because the introduction was very short.

err....better not use the word "spanking". it tends to give out the wrong idea.....:080: . i dont want to teach bad words...

Hmm... true that.
Well, it's okay to use the word spanking. I remember watching TV and they used spanking for whipping little kids' behinds... XD
Just don't think dirty~

I am good at play basketball too-0-

playing computer
should be using computer:093: